"One could drown in irrelevance" (34).

An important passage in Atonement, where Briony contemplates just what it means to be Briony and if other people are just as alive as she is, is a realization that, if she had followed it out, probably would have prevented her from committing her crime. The scene begins with an unhappy Briony alone in the nursery, "She raised one hand and flexed its fingers and wondered, as she has sometimes before, how this thing, this machine for gripping, this fleshy spider on the end of her arm, came to be hers, entirely at her command. Or did it have some little life of its own? She bent her finger and straightened it" (33).

In contemplating this, Briony also begins to think about yet another mystery, "Was everyone else really as alive as she was? For example, did her sister really matter to herself, was she just as valuable to herself as Briony was? Was being Cecilia just as vivid an affair as being Briony? ...If the answer was yes, then the world, the social world, was unbearably complicated, with two billion voices, and everyone's thoughts striving in equal importance and everyone's claim on life as intense, and everyone thinking they were unique, when no one was. One could drown in irrelevance" (34).

This passage is an example of a typical childhood experience - one that is essential to growing-up: the realization that one is not the center of the universe, rather there are others with thoughts and feelings and dreams and experiences that are completely different from one's own. Most everyone has had some sort of experience like the scene in this novel. It is a realization that is essential in growing up, one that finally shatters our innocence and causes us to think of others and to be aware of their (just as important) thoughts and aspirations. It is also the striking realization that one is not as important to others in the grand scheme of things, as one is to one's self. This realization, though necessary, is incredibly disheartening. As Briony says, "One could drown in irrelevance" (34).

While Briony does contemplate these mysteries prior to her crime of misunderstanding, she does so in a rather offhanded way - acknowledging that perhaps this is possible, but not entirely ready to admit that it is certainly so. As she goes on to say, "For, though it offended her sense of order, she knew it was overwhelmingly probable that everyone else had thoughts like hers. She knew this, but only in a rather arid way; she didn't really feel it" (34). If she had fully acknowledged this realization, it is very likely that she would have viewed all the incidents of the day in a very different mindset, possibly leading to a very different outcome.

"In the aisles of country churches and grand city cathedrals, her heroines and heroes reached their innocent climaxes and needed to go no further" (9).

The aborted play, The Trials of Arabella, that appears at the beginning of the novel is something that I have never really given much thought to. The play is a characteristic fairy-tale-esque romance - complete with two lovers, a terrible villain, and finally, the reward of marriage. I vaguely recall hearing, however, through the veil of my drowsy senioritis-afflicted mind, my AP Literature teacher saying that this play serves to reveal Briony's naive knowledge about relationships which directly impacts her actions later in the novel. This vague memory, together with my re-reading of the novel, prompted me to further investigate this subject.

Briony is a precocious child in many ways - her extraordinary writing ability, vocabulary, and passion for learning - however, it is important to keep in mind that she is still very much a child in many ways. The characters of her play go through their various trials and then they are married. "A love of order also shaped the principles of justice, with death and marriage the main engines of housekeeping, the former being set aside exclusively for the morally dubious, the latter a reward witheld until the final page" (7). As a rather sheltered girl of 13, combined with her need for order and her driving need to make sense out of the universe, Briony is unable (or unwilling) to look past the act of marriage to what happens next. Sexual relations, procreation, and child-rearing, are notably absent from Briony's works - they are too messy, too passionate, too unorganized - to have a place in Briony's carefully planned out universe. This mindset, combined with the innocence of her age as well as her virtual isolation from other children by the secluded location of the Tallis household, combined together to shape her views of the world. "A good wedding was an unacknowledged representation of the as yet unthinkable-sexual bliss. In the aisles of country churches and grand city cathedrals, her heroines and heroes reached their innocent climaxes and needed to go no further" (8-9). These words, written by a much older Briony reveals that indeed she did not consciously acknowledge the inherent sexuality of her characters. This revelation could also be used to explain her actions in regards to the scenes witnessed between her sister and Robbie. As her organized, innocent world had no place for love expressed through sexual relations, Briony interpreted these interactions as violent. Thus, when Briony "saw" Lola being molested, her logical conclusion - based on her witnessing of the scene by the fountain, her reading of Robbie's note, and her interruption of the scene in the library combined together in her mind to reach the conclusion that made sense  - that Robbie was to blame. She could not believe that her sister and Robbie were in love, as this emotion (in her universe) would be expressed by a proposal of marriage followed by a beautiful and elaborate wedding. Sexuality as an expression of love was impossible for Briony to understand. Adult sexuality is too passionate, too unpredictable and inexplainable to fit neatly into Briony's little universe and it would only be through the experience of growing up that Briony would learn to accept it.

It is important to keep in mind, however, that this passage was written by Briony and it remains a distinct possibility that Briony (whether intentionally or unintentionally) could have included this information as a sort of excuse for her actions. It is human nature to attempt to maintain our self esteem by unconsciously censoring oneself in an attempt to paint ourselves in a more flattering light. As this novel is written by Briony concerning her own life experiences, the reliability of her narration is always in question. As this is the only text of this fictional story, however,  the real "truth" remains unknown and irrelevant. We simply have to accept Briony's words as truth and that the motivation of her extreme guilt and need for atonement drove her to tell this story as truthfully as possible.

"My Jane Austen Novel"

After writing the previous blog on the epigraph from Northanger Abbey, I realized (a little late) that I probably should have done a brief search to see if other authors (who had actually read the novel) could offer more substantial insight into the epigraph's relation to the text. Almost immediately I came across an extremely intriguing article by a university english professor, Juliette Wells, who incidentally wrote a very similar (though somewhat more informed) article about  the work of Jane Austen and its relation to Atonement. (Article Link: http://www.jasna.org/persuasions/printed/number30/wells.pdf) Wells took this observation further, however, arguining that the character of Briony was potentially modeled after Austen herself. I found this portion of the article to be extremely interesting as my aforementioned abhorrence of the work left me completely ignorant in regards to the life of its author. Incidentally, Austen too was a precocious youth who, much like Briony, indulged in writing and producing novellas and plays at a very young age. Briony's realization during the production of her play that she wanted to be a novelist, as that has a much more direct connection with the reader, is also reminiscent of Austen. Even the "happily ever after" that Briony gives to both the play, and the novel, is very reminiscent of Austen's style. In Briony's version, Robbie and Cecilia are reunited and still very much in love. Their relationship holds the promise of many possibilities, the foremost of which is marriage - which is exactly the way in which every single Jane Austen novel ends.

This realization, along with Wells' assertion that McEwan continuously refers to Atonement as "my Jane Austen novel" (102) was a complete and utter shock to me. I have never, ever, liked any of Austen's works: they're long, for the most part rather boring, nothing happens except silly little parties, and everything always end in happiness and marriage. Life doesn't always have the "happily ever after" that Austen novels portray, and I have always liked how in Atonement that happy ending was given - and then brutally yanked away only pages later. It left you shocked, betrayed, angered, sad, and most of all, it left you thinking. Perhaps some of McEwan's novel was based on themes from Jane Austen's work, however, the shockingly real themes of rape, war, anger, guilt, injury, and death are very, very different from anything one would find in an Austen novel. Regardless, I am glad I stumbled across this article. It is very interesting to see where McEwan got his inspiration for the plot, as well as the character of Briony. While I don't believe the book to truly be a "Jane Austen novel," I do believe that perhaps there are, as the title of Wells' article suggests, "Shades of Austen in...Atonement" (101).

Wells, Juliette. "Shades of Austen in Ian McEwan's Atonement." Jasna.org. Web. 2 Dec. 2011. <http://www.jasna.org/persuasions/printed/number30/wells.pdf>.

ep·i·graph: A short quotation or saying at the beginning of a book or chapter to suggest its theme.

"'Dear Miss Morland, consider the dreadful nature of the suspicions you have entertained. What have you been judging from? Remember the country and the age in which we live. Remember that we are English: that we are Christians. Consult your own understanding, your own sense of the probable, your own observation of what is passing around you. Does our education prepare us for such atrocities? Do our laws connive at them? Could they be perpetrated without being known in a country like this, where social and literary intercourse is on such a footing, where every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies, and where roads and newspapers lay everything open? Dearest Miss Morland, what ideas have you been admitting?'

They had reached the end of the gallery; and with tears of shame, she ran off to her own room." 

-Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

(epigraph to Atonement)

I can't believe that in all my readings and re-readings of this novel, I have never noticed this introductory quote. This text, without context, seemingly has no real connection to the rest of the novel. I'm reasonably sure that McEwan would not simply tack on an irrelevant quote on to the beginning of his book, so although I adamantly despise Jane Austen's work (excluding the infinitely more exciting zombie versions), I decided to investigate this novel.

After reading several book reviews and plot summaries I found, to my complete surprise, that this novel had very much in common with Atonement. I was even more surprised to find that it actually seemed like a novel that I would possibly, maybe, even enjoy, despite my intense loathing of most Austen novels. The protagonist of Northanger Abbey is intensely interested in Gothic novels and much like Briony, applies these fictitious novels to real life. She is invited to stay at Northanger Abbey by her suitor's family and wrongfully expects the visit to resemble something out of her novels. When she is forbidden from entering a series of rooms belonging to the late madam of the house, she immediately concludes that there is something sinister going on. She decides to inspect the rooms, entertaining the fantastic prospects of murder or imprisonment. Not only does she find her suspicions to be false but she is caught and punished for her inability to distinguish fiction from reality and is sent home in disgrace and heartbreak. The intrigue of the novel erodes, however, as in typical Austen fashion she is forgiven and everyone gets married in the end.

In class we read another novel by Jane Austen, Emma, which also features a protagonist who commits grave errors in judgement because of her narrow-mindedness and seeing only what she wants to. The errors in this novel, like those in Northanger Abbey, are much less serious than the one in Atonement, as the novel ends, once again, in forgiveness and marriage.

Atonement, in my opinion, seems to be a similar, yet more intense (and as a result, more interesting and heartbreaking) version of this story. Briony, much like the protagonist of Northanger Abbey, is unable to distinguish fiction from reality and because of this she commits a terrible and unforgivable crime. In her mind, she puts together the scenes she had witnessed and misunderstood throughout the day and decides that it only makes sense for Robbie to be the rapist. When she is later questioned by the police as to what she saw, Briony continuously flips between "I know it was him" and "I saw him" - statements that she believes to be interchangeable. Unlike in Northanger Abbey,  Briony's lie has dire consequences, launching into motion a series of events that prevents the two lovers, Robbie and Cecilia, from ever being able to fulfill their love. Instead of studying to become a doctor, Robbie is sent to prison and then the war, where he eventually perishes. Cecilia, estranged from her family, abandons her studies and becomes a nurse, eventually perishing when that area is bombed. In a way, Northanger Abbey is a foil to Atonement, or more accurately, McEwan's version of the novel. Briony's version disregards the deaths of Robbie and Cecilia, and allows them the "happily ever after" ending they were deprived of in life, not unlike Austen's novel Northanger Abbey. However in McEwan's novel, forgiveness for Briony's inability to distinguish fiction from reality is absolutely impossible.

"epigraph." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, 2011.Web. 17 November 2011  http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/epigraph

The Beginning.

I have always been mystified as to why Ian McEwan's novel, Atonement, is so incredibly fascinating to me. The book has held a highly coveted spot atop the list of my all-time favorite novels ever since I first read it in one tear-filled Sunday afternoon in high school, and I have always been mystified as to why. It's not that I completely understand it -- I don't, not at all. And it isn't that it makes me happier about my own life, as tragically sad novels are supposed to do. All that reading this novel succeeds in doing is raising a bunch of questions that neither I, nor anyone, has the answers to.

Perhaps that is exactly the reason I like it so much.

Anyways, I am extremely excited to be reading this wonderful novel once again. I definitely look forward to reading and analyzing the complexities of this book in an attempt to try and understand it, as impossible a task as that may be. As Briony writes early on in her novel, "There did not have to be a moral. She need only show seperate minds, as alive as her own, struggling with the idea that other minds were equally alive...And only in a story could you enter these different minds and show how they had an equal value. That was the only moral a story need have" (38).